I once met somebody on the train who lives in the Bay Area and told me that her dating experiences in the area with tech guys included more than one "guy who just has a mattress on the floor". If there's any takeaway from the 15 seconds you spent looking at this article and the comments, you should buy a bed frame. Any bedframe. Just take the mattress off the floor.
If you're on this site, you can afford one. Extra credit: the bottom of your mattress won't be all gross.
The other side of that coin is that if she can't tolerate mattress on floor to access tech money then maybe the other guy dodged a bullet too depending on what he's after. I found myself turning down the class intentionally a lot because my current income/wealth level exceeds the norm for my background at my age and I don't want to live with someone who doesn't share my social/cultural norms.
It reminds me of a passage in IIRC it was Keith Richards biography (maybe not him, but definitely one of the Rolling Stones) where he was flabbergast at what his wife (he married up in some ways) spent on a chandelier. Not that he couldn't afford it, but he just wasn't from the kind of background where you spend a bunch of money on a chandelier and was rather ticked off by the expense.
All that said, a f-ing bed frame seems like a pretty stupid thing to skimp on. You can get them, any pretty much every other piece of furniture, for free on CL or FBMP if you're not picky and don't mind waiting a big for something decent near you.
Re-read this post and seriously evaluate what's actually being described. Dodged a bullet from what? A low quality gold digger? Normal well adjusted people have standards and unless you're going to make some absent minded appeal to norms in other cultures one of those standards is an actual bed complete with a frame. It's a low bar to reach for.
It is simply a matter of utility.
Bed frames do not provide much utility, and cost money, which seperates me from my early retirement.
Tech bros are probably making this utilitarian decision more consciously than the woman was considering her own mate evaluation feature detectors.
A more intelligent, less shallow woman would have connected the dots. Had the male been percieved as sufficiently physically attractive she would have ignored the lack of bed anyways, and addressed the lack of aesthetics with communication like an adult human being.
I say this as a tech bro who wore ten year old clothes with holes the first time I met the girl who became my wife. The situation was resolved simply. I threw away the old ones, and I gave her a budget of $200. She took me shopping for outfits. It was fun.
You may want to reconsider your position on the matter. If someone rejects another human being due to not having a bed frame when they live alone that is sufficiently shallow that it indicates some inner growth is in order.
If you live in Japan or Korea it's normal to sleep on the floor. In Japan you have a room covered in tatami mats. At night you pull out the futon from the closet and sleep on it. You then put it back in the closet in the morning.
I wouldn't suggest people "hack" self-care/hygeine habits like nesting to avoid turning off some prospective date or hookup.
The lady on the train isn't literally getting turned off by the mattress resting on the floor. They're getting turned off because the image they see represents someone deeply alienated from the instinctive desire to attend to one's space (nest).
The one neat trick of putting a mattress on the frame doesn't change that. It just leaves the visitor more lacking for words to describe what's unsettling them.
If you're just a 22 year old tech bro all in on your career and are proud of your aescetism, live as sparsely as you want.
At some point, though, you may find that taking an interest in your surroundings makes you feel better and gives you more resiliency, and that people respond positively to what that represents.
But don't bother cheating your way there. It will must confuse you when somebody shows up and doesn't fall for the hack.
> Extra credit: the bottom of your mattress won't be all gross.
That's the one big reason to me actually. I lived for years with a mattress on the floor. It was cool: really was. It wasn't about money: it was just a way to explain that I just didn't give a fuck about the way things were supposed to be. My cheap, used and beaten up Porsche 911 Carrera (another way to say fuck you) in the driveway and a mattress on the floor: that was my Hank Moody way of life (which btw predated the Hank Moody character).
People, upon seeing that, would understand there were exactly zero fucks given about the way society should be.
A mattress on the floor is a statement.
But a bedframe: it costs next to nothing. Heck, you can even build one yourself if your a bit of a DIYer and know what a dowel is. Stick your mattress on a bedframe. Buy a roomba: make sure it can vaccuum clean under the bed.
Believe me: been there, done that. A bedframe is cleaner. It's also more comfy.
Big bonus if that bedframe has got a headroom in alcantara or something: that is just smooth compared to the wall.
My wife since 15 y/o and mother to our 10 y/o kid? We met up when I had that ascetic way of life: three pairs of socks, three undies, an old beaten up sportscar and a mattress on the floor. And, yes, a semi-fancy stereo (not that I knew that Steve Jobs lived like that, I had no idea: I just happened back then, by chance, to stumble on a pair of Pierre-Etienne Leon speakers / aka "P-E Leon" : shittiest website there is for a high-end speakers brand I'd say).
This just made all nostalgic. I kinda wish I could re-live these moments again. But I take it it's just me getting old.
Upgraded the speakers. Upgraded the car. Put the mattress on a bedframe.
I, uh, might have slept on a matress on top of a rug for a number of years. It was fine and extremely clean. Multiple sexual partners, no complaints, but you have me wondering about the what ifs.
My parents are almost-hoarders and I’m almost-ocd if it matters. Love me an austere room.
> The false rumor began after an X user made up that Vance's 2016 memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, included a passage about having sex with an "inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions."
I once met somebody on the train who lives in the Bay Area and told me that her dating experiences in the area with tech guys included more than one "guy who just has a mattress on the floor". If there's any takeaway from the 15 seconds you spent looking at this article and the comments, you should buy a bed frame. Any bedframe. Just take the mattress off the floor.
If you're on this site, you can afford one. Extra credit: the bottom of your mattress won't be all gross.
The other side of that coin is that if she can't tolerate mattress on floor to access tech money then maybe the other guy dodged a bullet too depending on what he's after. I found myself turning down the class intentionally a lot because my current income/wealth level exceeds the norm for my background at my age and I don't want to live with someone who doesn't share my social/cultural norms.
It reminds me of a passage in IIRC it was Keith Richards biography (maybe not him, but definitely one of the Rolling Stones) where he was flabbergast at what his wife (he married up in some ways) spent on a chandelier. Not that he couldn't afford it, but he just wasn't from the kind of background where you spend a bunch of money on a chandelier and was rather ticked off by the expense.
All that said, a f-ing bed frame seems like a pretty stupid thing to skimp on. You can get them, any pretty much every other piece of furniture, for free on CL or FBMP if you're not picky and don't mind waiting a big for something decent near you.
Re-read this post and seriously evaluate what's actually being described. Dodged a bullet from what? A low quality gold digger? Normal well adjusted people have standards and unless you're going to make some absent minded appeal to norms in other cultures one of those standards is an actual bed complete with a frame. It's a low bar to reach for.
It is simply a matter of utility. Bed frames do not provide much utility, and cost money, which seperates me from my early retirement.
Tech bros are probably making this utilitarian decision more consciously than the woman was considering her own mate evaluation feature detectors.
A more intelligent, less shallow woman would have connected the dots. Had the male been percieved as sufficiently physically attractive she would have ignored the lack of bed anyways, and addressed the lack of aesthetics with communication like an adult human being.
I say this as a tech bro who wore ten year old clothes with holes the first time I met the girl who became my wife. The situation was resolved simply. I threw away the old ones, and I gave her a budget of $200. She took me shopping for outfits. It was fun.
You may want to reconsider your position on the matter. If someone rejects another human being due to not having a bed frame when they live alone that is sufficiently shallow that it indicates some inner growth is in order.
If you live in Japan or Korea it's normal to sleep on the floor. In Japan you have a room covered in tatami mats. At night you pull out the futon from the closet and sleep on it. You then put it back in the closet in the morning.
https://www.google.com/search?q=%E5%B8%83%E5%9B%A3&udm=2
Often you pull out a small table (kotatsu) and put it in the center of the room in the day.
https://www.google.com/search?q=%E3%81%93%E3%81%9F%E3%81%A4&...
Korea is the same except tatami mats are less common.
Of course now-a-days, lots of Japanese and Koreans sleep on beds but futon are not uncommon.
I wouldn't suggest people "hack" self-care/hygeine habits like nesting to avoid turning off some prospective date or hookup.
The lady on the train isn't literally getting turned off by the mattress resting on the floor. They're getting turned off because the image they see represents someone deeply alienated from the instinctive desire to attend to one's space (nest).
The one neat trick of putting a mattress on the frame doesn't change that. It just leaves the visitor more lacking for words to describe what's unsettling them.
If you're just a 22 year old tech bro all in on your career and are proud of your aescetism, live as sparsely as you want.
At some point, though, you may find that taking an interest in your surroundings makes you feel better and gives you more resiliency, and that people respond positively to what that represents.
But don't bother cheating your way there. It will must confuse you when somebody shows up and doesn't fall for the hack.
Excellent point. And it doesn’t need to be much. If a person is really minimalistic, even a single piece of good-taste furniture would suffice.
Tired: mattress on floor
Wired: Eames chair next to mattress on floor.
Thank you both for the Wednesday laughs.
Steve Jobs famously started out like that, a mattress and a MASSIVE stereo.
Maybe they try to emulate their hero?
It's like only wearing grey t-shirts thinking it'll make you the next Zuckerberg...
We had one such case at our startup in San Francisco. Several coworkers came together to get him a bed frame as a group birthday gift.
By bizarre coincidence, I actually lost a sexual partner right when I bought my current bed frame.
Did you accidentally throw them out with the old frame?
> Extra credit: the bottom of your mattress won't be all gross.
That's the one big reason to me actually. I lived for years with a mattress on the floor. It was cool: really was. It wasn't about money: it was just a way to explain that I just didn't give a fuck about the way things were supposed to be. My cheap, used and beaten up Porsche 911 Carrera (another way to say fuck you) in the driveway and a mattress on the floor: that was my Hank Moody way of life (which btw predated the Hank Moody character).
People, upon seeing that, would understand there were exactly zero fucks given about the way society should be.
A mattress on the floor is a statement.
But a bedframe: it costs next to nothing. Heck, you can even build one yourself if your a bit of a DIYer and know what a dowel is. Stick your mattress on a bedframe. Buy a roomba: make sure it can vaccuum clean under the bed.
Believe me: been there, done that. A bedframe is cleaner. It's also more comfy.
Big bonus if that bedframe has got a headroom in alcantara or something: that is just smooth compared to the wall.
My wife since 15 y/o and mother to our 10 y/o kid? We met up when I had that ascetic way of life: three pairs of socks, three undies, an old beaten up sportscar and a mattress on the floor. And, yes, a semi-fancy stereo (not that I knew that Steve Jobs lived like that, I had no idea: I just happened back then, by chance, to stumble on a pair of Pierre-Etienne Leon speakers / aka "P-E Leon" : shittiest website there is for a high-end speakers brand I'd say).
This just made all nostalgic. I kinda wish I could re-live these moments again. But I take it it's just me getting old.
Upgraded the speakers. Upgraded the car. Put the mattress on a bedframe.
I, uh, might have slept on a matress on top of a rug for a number of years. It was fine and extremely clean. Multiple sexual partners, no complaints, but you have me wondering about the what ifs.
My parents are almost-hoarders and I’m almost-ocd if it matters. Love me an austere room.
I’d recommend a Japanese platform bed.
But it's such a waste of space. I spend only a small part of my day on it. (Roll up futon).
[flagged]
Please don't do this here.
OK, I'll bite, what is this in reference to?
> The false rumor began after an X user made up that Vance's 2016 memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, included a passage about having sex with an "inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions."
NPR: https://www.npr.org/2024/07/31/nx-s1-5055854/vance-harris-so...
[dead]
[flagged]
He probably wasn't. He had sex with a 16 year old who was past the age of consent.